Awareness of abusive behaviour

On her job as a UN human rights commissioner:
"The best human rights job in the world. I think that central to it is the moral authority. I can take on governments, I can stand up to bullies. I like that part of the job."
Former Irish president and UN Human Rights High Commissioner
Mary Robinson


schadenfreude'shä-dən-frȯi-də
Enjoyment obtained from the misfortune of others.







Door slamming, kicking or punching holes in walls, raging, fist shaking/pounding, throwing objects, mimicked throwing of objects.


Threats creating terror or extreme fear of physical harm or,
Life-style/security - innuendo/threats ("I earn the money and keep a roof over your head!") financial asset control to create dependence


Threatening or aggressive body stance and gestures, disrespect for 'personal body space'
'The Look', The silent treatment or unanswered questions
Pessured decision making
Facial Glaring, distainful smirking
Audible, annoyed-sounding "Sighing"
Snide remarks "Can't you take a joke?" insults
Making you feel guilt about things you have no control over.


False accusation, fault-finding, nit-picking
Making a mess and failing to clean it up
Isolating/alienation from our support groups or family
Issuing orders without giving reasons


Falsely-stated expertise/talent/knowledge
Non-performance of duties
Interrogation of whereabouts, spending or intentions.
Commiting our time/resources without our consent
Social exclusion, gossiping, exploitation
Lack of credit for efforts


Treating you differently - 'When there are witnesses'


Disproportionate allocation of assets
Display of weapon(s) to intimidate
Abandonment/stranding in dangerous locations
Displayed generosity to create 'appearances' which make you uncomfortable
Sulking, walking out, provoking guilt and turning the subject to his grievances
Criticizing, Witholding or delayed medical treatment. Cornering you during arguments to impede your leaving.


Failure to consider common-sense consequences to others of his behaviour
Changed expectations or unrealistic goalsetting
Lies, including omission of needed information
Eye-rolling, 'snippy shoulder-shrug' responses, the "hrumph response, 'spit-out' responses
whispering to others or mumbled below-hearing level criticism

Requesting information about us from others rather than to us
Finger poking/pointing
Irresponsibility of other people's possessions
Pretending to fire imaginery weapons (finger/thumb reenact gun use)
Failure to consider your worries and concerns
Lack of respect for different opinions


Public humiliation, ridiculing - often at unfortunate circumstances
Swearing, name-calling, nationality/occupation, age/disability mimicking/mocking
Humiliation at lack of knowledge
Discrepancy in treatment of children, corruption/enticement/coercion into illegal or sexual activities.
Be aware of the "drop the ball' abuser instigating situations then abandoning them leaving us to clean up the mess
Lateness or non-arrival causing distress
Reckless behaviour meant to scare
Possessiveness/Jealousy
Inappropriate show of tears to appear overly reprimanded or portray insincere apology
Cutting a deal: "If you__, then I'll___"
Selecting weaker targets: Picking on Women, Children, Elderly
Bluffing Threats
Throwing 'tantrums'
Definition of Verbal Abuse http://www.thisisawar.com/AbuseEmotional.htm


Strategy: Awareness of abusive behaviour
Refusal to accept abuse.
Be financially and emotionally free and avoid abusers.

These abusive tactics apply to male and female abusers. They are not gender specific.